


To Hell and Back

by Weisse_Rose



Series: Lift me up [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, People talking about their feelings, right in the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-22 16:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13768239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weisse_Rose/pseuds/Weisse_Rose
Summary: Lucifer gets dragged back to hell by one of his brothers. Chloe tries to figure out how to get him back.





	1. Chapter 1

Chloe leaned back in her chair, forcing herself to close her eyes and take a deep breath. She knew that she couldn't go on like this. She was driving herself crazy with worry. _He has vanished before _, she told herself. But this was different. Every cop instinct she had told her this was different. She'd reached a point where she was actually _hoping_ he'd show up in the precinct, some woman dangling from this arm, joking about how he'd just taken a vacation. Sure, she'd be mad, but at least he would still be alive. And safe.__

__He'd vanished without a word to her, or to Maze, or to Linda. There had been signs of a struggle at his place, one of the stools at his private bar overthrown, broken glass strewn over the floor. His phone had been lying abandoned on the counter. It had all the telltale signs of an abduction. His car too had still been sitting in the garage. As far as they could tell he hadn't packed anything. Missing Persons was on the case, but Chloe hadn't been able to stop herself from launching her own investigation. Which so far hadn't amounted to anything. It was as if he'd just vanished off the face of the earth._ _

__She opened her eyes, and, as if she had summoned him with her thoughts, there was Lucifer. Chloe blinked a couple of times, unable to believe her eyes. Relief washed over her like a tidal wave. He was alive. Then she took in his state, and the worry returned in a rush. He was filthy, his clothes torn, and there was a dark brown-red stain on his shirt which she was almost certain was dried blood. And as if that weren't bad enough already, he also had a nasty gash on the left side of his face which was most definitely still bleeding. His hair was mussed up and starting to curl, and it would have looked endearing under different circumstances._ _

__Chloe stood up, locking eyes with him. He had the strangest expression on his face, as if _he_ couldn't believe his eyes. Both of them just stood there for a moment, frozen in place, staring at each other. Then Lucifer drew himself out of his stupor and rushed forward, drawing her into a tight embrace. Chloe made a little surprised noise, the air rushing out of her lungs. She tried to recall if he'd ever initiated a hug before and couldn't recall any precedent. Lucifer's head came down to rest on her shoulder and he breathed out a relieved sigh. It made no sense. _ _

__Chloe drew her arms around him in turn and noticed that he was trembling slightly. _He's in shock_. He was mumbling something barely audible. After a couple of seconds, Chloe realized that he was repeating the same words over and over. _You're okay. You're alive._ What the hell was going on here? What had happened to him? Why was he worried about her? She was about to pull back and ask some of these questions, when his knees buckled suddenly. In spite of her surprise, she managed to glide the two of them to a kneeling position, rather than falling in a heap to the floor._ _

__She pulled back and took his face in her hands, looking at his injury properly for the first time. It wasn't pretty._ _

__"You need to go to the hospital."_ _

__It was like he hadn't even heard her. He grinned at her as if he'd won the lottery. "You're okay."_ _

__"Yes, I'm okay, but you're not." He waved his hand dismissively as if this were the least of his problems. "Lucifer, what _happened_ to you?"_ _

__"Just a small disagreement between brothers, that's all."_ _

__" _Amenadiel_ did this to you?"_ _

__Lucifer managed to look affronted in spite of his current appearence. "Amenadiel? Please, as if I'd let him get the better of me. No, this is Michael's doing. You know how it is with the lot of them. _Father commands this. Father commands that._." He all but spat out the last words. Chloe couldn't believe her ears._ _

__"Your _father_ asked your brother to hurt you?"_ _

__Lucifer huffed out a laugh that had zero merriment. "Father doesn't _ask_. Father commands." He waved his hand around again as if all of this was irrelevant. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are okay."_ _

__Chloe looked at him. She really had to do something about this head wound. He was bleeding too much. He was bleeding because apparently his brother had inflicted these injuries on him on purpose because their father had asked him to. No wonder Lucifer was at odds with his family. She stood up to get something to at least slow down the bleeding._ _

__She returned with a clean cloth which she pressed against the wound. Lucifer flinched. "Sorry. You'll need stitches. You've got to go to the hospital."_ _

__"I'm not going to the hospital", Lucifer said with a finality that brook no argument._ _

__"Lucifer-"_ _

__"Detective. Michael, he, um-" Lucifer struggled with the words, something she couldn't remember ever seen him do before. "He said that he hurt you. That because you're a mi- that because you're you, he could hurt you. He told me how he killed you. He was very-" Lucifer almost chocked on the word. "-descriptive." _Jesus Christ_ , Chloe thought. _Jesus Christ_._ _

__His pained expression turned into that strange smile again. "But he lied. He made it all up. I should have known. I guess he thought that I'd go back if you were- if you were gone." What kind of a psychopath was this man?_ _

__"You're going to the hospital. Now."_ _

__Lucifer shook his head, his smile turning wistful. "I just had to know. It's fine. At least now I have a chance to say goodbye." He smiled sadly._ _

__"Lucifer, what the hell are you talking about?"_ _

__"My time's running out. He'll know exactly where I went to. I'm sure he'll be around momentarily." He made an effort to sound lighthearted, but Chloe saw through it easily._ _

__"Your brother? He can't harm you here."_ _

__Lucifer continued smiling that sad little smile. "If only that were true."_ _

__Chloe opened her mouth to assure him that, yes, it was, then closed it again without uttering a word. Out of nowhere, a man had appeared behind Lucifer, regarding the two of them with a sort of detached interest that reminded her of a scientist watching lab rats. Chloe stood up slowly, her hand moving towards her gun._ _

__Lucifer remained on the floor, staring morosely ahead. He talked without turning around. "What took you so long, brother? It seems you're getting old."_ _

__Chloe drew her firearm, aiming it at the newcomer. "Hands where I can see them. Now." He paid no attention to her._ _

__Lucifer stood up, steadying himself on a nearby desk. "And your attempts at deceit are sketchy at best."_ _

__Other officers had caught on to what was happening. Several more guns were drawn around them. Michael seemed entirely unconcerned about this development. Chloe looked into his eyes and recognized the cold detachment she saw there. She'd seen something similar many times in the eyes of stone-cold killers. This was a different degree though. It was as if there was no emotion at all in those eyes, no human being looking back at her. She shuddered._ _

__Michael made a move towards Lucifer, and Chloe stepped in between the two. " _Stop_." She felt Lucifer's hand come down on her shoulder. "There is no need for this." He looked at his brother. "I'll come willingly. Just leave them be."_ _

__"You're not going anywhere with _him_ ", Chloe said, venom in her voice. Again, Michael paid her no mind, looking at his brother inquisitively. _ _

__"I'll go back. But I'm afraid you'll still be a gatekeeper short." For the first time, Chloe saw a hint of emotion on Michael's face. He furrowed his brow, looking at Lucifer in confusion. "Oh, just take me back. You'll see for yourself."_ _

__Before she had a chance to stop him, Lucifer stepped past her, standing next to his brother, facing her. "I want you to know, Chloe, that the time we spend together was the best of my life. Please don't waste any of yours looking for me."_ _

__There was a flash of blinding white light. Chloe blinked, and when she opened her eyes again, the brothers were gone._ _


	2. Chapter 2

_5 weeks later_

Chloe stared at the wall, her eyes flicking back and forth between the magnitude of notes and copies of book pages attached to it. She was well aware that this looked exactly like the type of thing you might find in the home of any conspiracy theorist a few fries short of a happy meal. She'd put her own wall of crazy up in her bedroom, to avoid Trixie seeing some of the more gruesome imagery. 

The theme of the wall was not some conspiracy or a challenging case though. It had only one topic: Hell. Any reference in literature to ways in and out of hell, to be precise. Well, there seemed to be plenty of ways into hell, but very few mentions of a way out. And she certainly wasn't going if she wasn't sure she could make it out. She wouldn't do that to Trixie. The whole thing was pure insanity anyway.

There were video cameras in the precinct. They showed exactly what had happened. A momentary flash of light, and the two men were gone. They had been surrounded by police officers. There was no trap door, no way how they could have possibly escaped the building. It had taken Chloe quite a while, but eventually she had accepted what she had, on some level, always known. It wasn't parlor tricks. It wasn't hypnosis. All the seemingly unexplainable occurances around Lucifer did have an explanation. A rather obvious one. Which he had rubbed in her nose time and time again, and she, a life-long atheist, had been unable to accept.

Until now. She couldn't even count anymore how often Dan had tried to convince her to seek professional help about her obsession these past few weeks. It seemed like a reasonable request. Like a sensible request. Lucifer had vanished _again_ without a trace and she'd had a nervous breakdown. It was tempting to accept this explanation. After all, it would mean that he was still somewhere within her reach. But she just _knew_ , deep down, that even if she scoured the earth for him, she would never find him. She _knew_ it. And so she continued working on her wall, while Dan continued pestering her to get help. For her sake. For Trixie's sake. For the sake of her career. He meant well but he just didn't understand.

Chloe heard a rustling behind her and whirled around. Maze was leaning on the door frame, looking at her worriedly.

"Ah, Maze. Good. I wanted to talk to you. Tell me again how Lucifer brought you out of hell."

"Chloe-"

"Don't. There is a way to save him and I will find it."

Maze sighed. "Lucifer wouldn't want this. He'd want you to move on and be happy."

"Be happy while he rots in hell, you mean?", Chloe said with a bit more venom than she had intended.

"He's the devil. He belongs in hell. Who says he isn't happy there?"

Chloe turned around and gave Maze a chlling glare that would have frightened the daylights out of a regular human being. "Do you really believe that?"

Maze hesitated for a moment, then sighed again. "No. But this-" She waved her hand around, indicating the wall. "-this has to stop."

"It'll stop when we've saved Lucifer and not a second before. Now, are you going to help me or not?"

Maze gave her another look, a mesh of worry and pity, then nodded her agreement.

* * *

Rationally, Chloe was well aware that she was on a downward spiral. She spent all of her time that wasn't work or time with Trixie in front of the wall, without having anything to show for it. There were just too many _ifs_ and _buts_. If she didn't have Trixie, she might have tried something radical. Like going in without a clear exit strategy. But she couldn't, wouldn't, do that to her daughter. Already she had to live with the burden of both of her parents being cops, being in danger every day on the job. She wouldn't add an excursion to hell with no way back to the top of that list. No, there had to be another way.

Somebody cleared their throat behind her and Chloe whirled around, her nerves on edge. Linda stood in the doorway, giving her a look that was eerily similar to the ones Maze and Dan kept giving her.

"Do you have a moment?", Linda asked, her voice neutral.

Chloe narrowed her eyes, suspicious of why Linda might want to talk to her, but nodded.

Linda left the room, and Chloe followed. In the living area, Maze, Trixie and Ella were waiting for them. Chloe glared at Linda, her suspicions confirmed. "If this is an intervention, I don't want to hear it." She turned around and went back into her room. She was aware that she was acting childish, but she just didn't care anymore. She was sick and tired of everybody telling her what to do. They just didn't understand.

"It's not an intervention", Linda said, having followed her back into the room.

Chloe huffed. "Well, whatever fancy name you have for it, I'm not interested."

"I've spend quite a lot of time lately thinking about some of the things Lucifer has said in our sessions. I've confirmed some theories with Maze and Amenadiel. I have an idea how we can try to save him. It's based on a lot of assumptions, but there really is no harm in trying."

Chloe stared at her, stunned. "You want to try to save him?"

"Of course I do. He's a good man. He has no place being where he is right now."

Chloe blinked away the tears that suddenly threatened to spill. Finally, somebody saw her side of things. "Tell me your plan."

"Right. So we assume Michael brought him back so he can resume his position as gatekeeper of the underworld, or however we may want to call it. A job that apparently none of the other angels is keen on doing, right?"

Chloe nodded, that had been her conclusion as well.

"Only I don't think he'll be any help with that."

Chloe furrowed her brow, thinking back to her last conversation with Lucifer. He had said something similar to Michael, hadn't he? "What makes you say that?"

"From what I understand now, hell is, in essence, fueled by your guilt. If there is something you feel so guilty about that you think you deserve to go to hell for it, you do. I know for a fact that Lucifer has been struggling with a lot of guilt over something he did. I think Lucifer is trapped in his own personal hell, a room designed to torture him, just like everybody else down there."

Chloe drew in a sharp breath. That was a terrible thought. Bad enough if he were just stuck there, watching over the souls of the damned, but to think that he was being tortured made it so much worse.

"I think if we can help him out of that room, he'll be able to get out of hell himself. He has his wings, after all. If the other angels have accepted that he can't take up his old job and is of no use to them in hell, I think they might let him go."

"That's a lot of _ifs_. And how would we help him leave that room, exactly?"

"Angels can hear our prayers. If they are directed specifically at them. So-"

"Your plan is to _pray at him_?", Chloe asked, incredulous.

"Essentially, yes. All of us need to tell him the things he needs to hear. The truth about how we feel about him. What kind of man we think he is. All the things he's never believed anybody could think about him."

"And then what?"

"Then hopefully this can help him to break the cycle of guilt he's trapped in."

"No offence, Linda, but I really don't see how thinking at him really hard is going to save him."

Linda smiled at her. "Is there harm in trying though?"

Chloe glared at her. "Fine. I'll take any chance, even if it's miniscule."

Linda nodded, and together they went back to the others. Chloe turned to Maze. "You really agreed to take part in this?"

Maze and Linda shared a look, then Maze shrugged. "I can talk about my _feelings_ if I have to", Maze stated, a tad defensively.

"Right", Chloe said.

"I'm not entirely sure what we're going to do here, guys. You said we are not praying _for_ Lucifer but something similar?", Ella asked. She sounded uncertain, but eager to help in any way possible.

"Yes", Linda said, "Imagine it as if he could actually hear you. What are the things you would want to say to him? What are the things he needs to hear? Think of it as praying at him rather than praying for him."

"Okay", Ella agreed, nodding slowly.

"And you, monkey, do you know what we're going to do?", Chloe asked, wanting to be sure that Trixie wasn't confused about what was happening.

"Sure", her daughter said, smiling, "We're going to try to save Lucifer with positive thoughts, like telepathic superheroes!"

"Err. Sure. Right."

They all sat down in a circle. There was a moment of awkward silence, then Ella took a deep breath, folded her hands in front of her chest and closed her eyes. The others followed her example. _This is stupid_ , Chloe thought. Then again, nothing about the current situation made any sense, so why not give a non-sensical solution a try?

* * *

The worst thing, Lucifer reflected, was that there was still some small part of his brain capable of rational thought. The sobbing, the screaming, the despair, all of it wouldn't have been quite so bad if there had not been this small part of his brain watching himself as if from a faraway distance. It would have been so much easier to give in to insanity completely. To join the masses of broken souls around him.

In the beginning, Michael screamed at him. Then, he tried hitting him. On one remarkable occasion, Michael killed Uriel himself. Not that any of it changed what kept happening. Under different circumstances, it would have amused him, seeing his usually unemotional brother loose his cool like that. Not now, though. Now, he was too busy drowning in his own guilt. 

At the some point, Michael left. It didn't make an iota of a difference to Lucifer. He'd been barely more than a fly buzzing at the edge of his consciousness anyway. His whole world was reduced to Uriel. And the blade.

Every time the blade went in, regret and self-loathing flooded him anew. He'd killed his own brother. No, worse, he'd _destroyed_ his brother. Irrevocably. Eternally. His brother was gone and there was no redemption for him. Which was as it should be. He deserved to be here, deserved to rot in hell until the end of all creation. He watched the light in Uriel's eyes extinguish again. The same way he was unable to stop himself from killing him every time, he also couldn't make himself look away from this terrible moment.

Uriel's body vanished, then he reappeared standing before him. And this was truly the worst moment, because every single time, without fail, for a split-second, he would hope. Hope that this really was Uriel, that somehow Father had undone what he did, had given him another chance, a chance to make things right this time. Then the blade reappeared in his hand, crushing his hopes.

He stepped forward, lifting the blade, when something hit him square in the chest. It wasn't so much a physical blow as it was a sensation spreading out from the very center of his being. Warmth and light engulfed him and he recoiled from it. What new form of punishment was this? Something designed to give him hope, only to snatch it away again in an instant?

With the light and warmth came voices and Lucifer tried with all his might not to listen to them, not to give in to the hope blooming in his chest, only to have it taken away again, but he couldn't. He had to listen.

_Lucifer, wherever you are, whatever you're going through, I know you think you deserve it, but you don't. I'm afraid you'll have to trust my professional expertise on this one. You're a good man. You're my friend. Please come back to us. We miss you._

Lucifer stared ahead, unable to believe his ears. Could this really be true? 

_Lucifer, please come back. Pretty please. Mom is so much more fun when you're around. Everything is so much more fun when you're around. I miss you. Please come back. There's some chocolate cake in it for you. C'mon._

He felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. The blade slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor with a loud bang. 

_Lucifer, I realize we haven't known each other very long, but still you're like one of my brothers to me. I miss you. I hope you're okay. I wish you would come back. Whatever is eating at you, try to move on. I know that forgiving yourself is the hardest thing anyone can ever ask of you. Trust me, I know. Just remember that you're missed here. That you're needed here._

The warmth flooded him again and he let it. He allowed the hope to wash over him. Allowed the tears to fall. Allowed himself to feel missed. And wanted. 

_Lucifer, get your sorry ass back up here right now. This wasn't the deal. I keep pestering you for months to go back and you sneak back alone the first chance you get? Nah-uh. No way. I'm not doing this without you. You hear me? Come back right this second, mister. Don't make me come down there and drag your ass back up here. I'm the best goddamn bounty hunter on the planet. What happened to me and you against the rest of the world? I miss those days. I want them back. I want you back._

The blade on the floor vanished. Uriel vanished. The loft around him vanished, turning back to the cold basalt stone of an empty room waiting for a lost soul. Lucifer exhaled a shaky breath, turning his eyes upward. 

_Lucifer, you're the best partner I've ever had. The only one I've ever allowed to get close. To get under my skin. You maybe think that I don't know who you really are. But you're wrong. I've always known who you are. I didn't know the details of your upbringing. Or the specifics of your DNA. Or the things you've been forced to do in the name of your father. But I always, always, knew the kind of man you are. A much better man than you give yourself credit for. You don't deserve to be in hell. You never deserved to be there. Please come back to us. Please come back to me._

Lucifer looked up, for the first time in his life, without hatred, without anger, without the terrible despair that comes from longing for something that you can never have. He looked up and he _knew_ this wasn't some trick, some new cruel form of torture. This was real. There were people up there who wanted him back. Who thought he was a good man. Maybe some day he could prove them right. Maybe some day he could be the man they thought he was. Maybe some day he could be deserving of the faith they had in him. 

_I miss you terribly, Lucifer._

He exhaled a shaky breath, and made a decision. 

_I love you._

He went home. 


End file.
